Tag Archives: tween

Overheard at Dora’s House

16 Mar

“Dora, why? You’re a very pretty girl just the way you are.”

“Aye, Mama! You just say that because you’re my mother! I’ve had these same stupid bangs since 1999. Come on, vamonos al salón de belleza! I need some hair extensions.”

“I don’t know, mija, you seem too young. You’re a smart girl, always solving mysteries. It’s character that’s important. And I love your bangs.”

Dora #1

“Mama, it’s ridiculous! I need a new look. My belly’s busting out of this stupid pink tshirt. I can’t be smart *and* pretty? I am still wearing ruffly socks and Velcro shoes. I don’t even have any eyelashes. I am about to start middle school,  not preschool. No one wears backpacks, they all have messenger bags. Mama, I will always be your little muchacha, but I’m not  a baby.”

“What’s wrong with your pink shirt? I love that backpack. Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me you ditched that sweet little Strawberry Shortcake and are hanging out with the Bratz girls!”

“Mama, have you *seen* Strawberry Shortcake lately?”

Strawberry Shortcake Makeover

“…wow.”

“Yeah, her mom let her get her freckles bleached *and* I am pretty sure she had a nose job and is wearing a bra now! No wonder I am the only one still hanging around with a stupid monkey in red boots.”

“Well, she does look pretty. I never understood why she liked those ugly brown shoes so much.”

“So I can get a new hairstyle? My ears pierced? Wear some clear lip gloss and have eyelashes? And  maybe get a shirt that camouflages my thick waist? Please???”

“OK, mija. But you are still my little girl. And you need to apologize to Boots. You hurt his feelings.”

dora2

“Oh mama! You are the best! I can’t wait to show Diego! And that snot Alicia! She’s been calling me a baby for years just because she gets to use a cool video watch.  Ha ha!  Take that jungle girl!”

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