Tag Archives: Mafia Wars

Dear Cool Kids

18 Mar

I hear you’re all using this thing called “Twitter” or something like that. Want to help me out? Right now I have exactly one follower.


As a bonus, click now and see the total internet cliche icon picture of just my eyes and bangs.  Shut up about it. I have insecurities about my fat neck. I got voted “prettiest eyes” in the yearbook my senior year in high school, and ever since, I hate every other feature. Those voters warped me, man.

No, I’m not kidding. There really was a “prettiest eyes” category. It was the 80s. Don’t judge. Yes, LGV. I *know* you were most likely to succeed or something relevant like that. You’re still playing Mafia Wars on Facebook just like the rest of us.

Now, you all have to go to the twitter link and then you can come back and post “your eyes aren’t that great, either.” Then I will have nothing.

Oh yes,  “Hello 4,000 new visitors who wanted to see Dora’s makeover!”

Wait, where are you going?




Dear Saint Patrick

17 Mar

Aren’t you proud? In honor of the holiday, my Facebook Mafia has a new weapon.

Yes, among our weapons to take down Chrissy Blue Eyes, 2 Gold Desert Eagles, 9 chain guns and a “Pint of Green Beer.”
We were *totally* going to fight with corned beef, but someone ate it all at the wake for Don Sophia.
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day.
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