Tag Archives: jack russell

Yes, My Child Still Ate the Ice Cream Cone

19 Jun

Jack Russell

No, this is not becoming a dog blog. But this makes me laugh.

We were on the way back from the dog park, and stopped at Dairy Queen to get ice cream cones. While we were waiting for our order, our Jack Russell looked so sad sitting staring at my daughter’s cone.

So I decided to take her picture — at the same time as she decided to stop staring and start licking! (I like how the cone is tilting off to one side like it’s trying to escape.)

A perfect summer moment for saving before it melted away.


Water Wars

13 Jul

It’s very challenging to get the plants watered at our house.

Because the dogs? They are insane.

Just watch.

Squirrel Talk

10 Jun

Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.

They just let the dogs out and I can’t get out of the yard fast enough.

What am I going to do? Whoever said “White Dogs Can’t Jump” never saw the Jack Russell terrier that lives here.

I am so dead.

All the nuts I could have eaten, all the birdseed I could have stolen. My life flashing before my beady little eyes. Why me?

*whispers* “Rosebud…”

Wait, maybe if I stay perfectly still and pretend I am part of the tree, they won’t see me.

This could work. They’re sniffing, but not looking up.

It is working! I am going to LIVE! LIVE, I say!

Suck it. dogs.

Friday Pros and Cons

16 Apr

Five little things I love today:

  • The widget on my Macbook’s dashboard that shows me the National Geographic picture of the day, and lets me click to save it as my wallpaper.
  • My yellow sage celebrating the spring rain.
  • The Hipstamatic camera application for my iPhone that puts a neat vintage spin on camera phone pictures.
  • My daughter proudly carrying in a big tri-fold project on Rachel Carson, who she chose as her research subject on important Americans because “Mom, everyone already knows about Oprah.” You hear that, Kitty Kelley? EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT OPRAH.
  • Beds magically made by children who did not need to be asked.

Three things that DO NOT PLEASE ME.

  • The fact that at least two of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse apparently spent the night in the children’s bathroom. Because seriously, HOW ELSE COULD IT LOOK LIKE THAT?
  • The dog that spent the night systematically eating all the decorations off my daughter’s sandals.
  • 18 dyed Easter Eggs that everyone said they wanted to eat… still sitting the the refrigerator.

But on balance? Happy Friday.

Move Over, Ann Landers. Wait, you’re dead? AWKWARD.

15 Jun

For those keeping track at home, we’re beginning the second full week of summer vacation, complete with triple-digit temperatures which serve as a barometer of how loud the “I’m bored” whining will get.

And when they’re not whining, they’re asking things. Lots of things. Questions I was not aware I was going to get to answer this summer.

Upon the sad diagnosis of a beloved pet:

“Mom, when IS he going to die?”

“Can we get another dog?”

“It just feels like God hates me and what did I ever do to him?”

You see how they do that? Get me off-guard with the inappropriate inquiries and then deliver the sucker punch to the gut?

Of course, I try to give as measured, reasonable responses as I can about how even though God is loving and just, we live in a fallen world where sad things still happen. And we have deep theological debates about the nature of free will versus the question of why an omnipotent God allows the suffering of the innocent.

Unless the whining has been going on all morning. Then I just say “God is mad at you about a lot of things. But He told me He would let the dog live if you cleaned your room every morning without being asked and stopped fighting with your brother over the Wii. It’s all on you.”

No, of course I don’t say that. I’m kidding.

I tell them it’s because Daddy votes Republican.

Hahaha. Kidding again. Maybe.

When we aren’t tackling theology, we are tackling sex ed. Because, as my regular readers reader knows, the Jack Russell Terrier went into heat last week. And even though the corgis are both fixed and one of them is terminally ill, hope springs eternal. So one recent morning, I got this round of questions.

“Why are Tutter and Bailey stuck together?”

“If Tutter can’t make puppies, why is he doing that?”

And of course… the question of the hour: “Do you and Dad get stuck?”

I answered them all without my head exploding. Like this: 1) In the animal kingdom, that is how the dominant male ensures he will be the one to father the babies, by making sure no other males are also trying to get the female pregnant. 2) Because he and Bailey apparently ran off to Vegas and got married without telling us and 3) Would you like to go get some ice cream?

So as you can see, my question-answering skills are getting totally awesome. And you know, as much as I enjoy my children’s excellent inquiries, I’m a giver. Why should they get all my expertise?

So how about if *you* fire off some questions? Surely there’s some issue I can help you with. You can post it in the comments or email me at: lettergirl@live.com.

What’s that? You want to know if this is a ploy to get some blog topics and comments? Uh, would you like to go get some ice cream?

Also, you know that red button over there? You should lick on it and vote for me every day. Wait, I mean “click” on it. Although licking is fine if that’s what you do. I don’t judge. Either way, you should vote for me. If you do, God will make it cool off in San Antonio. No, really. It’s all on you.

Housekeeping Tips for Terrier Owners

23 Apr

A Tutorial in Pictures

barbie head

Barbies cannot be left on the floor.

Dead Penguin

Stuffed animals cannot be left on the floor.

Dead Shoes

Shiny silver sandals cannot be left on the floor.

Chewed Underwear

Underwear cannot be left on the floor.

No, seriously, that was the Jack Russell. Dental records have been checked.

And finally…

Chewed Floor

The mother-freaking FLOOR cannot be left on the floor.

The end.

If The Dogs Had Twitter

24 Mar

bailey Just pooped in the hall. On the swirly-patterned rug so it’s indiscernible. Hilarity will ensue.

tutter  @bailey BOL! Get it? Bark out Loud.

Quince @tutter @bailey U R such a tool.

bailey Just heard the humans scream. Guess they discovered it!  #baddog

tutter @bailey UR such a bitch ROFBOL

Quince @tutter @bailey She’s done worse. I have proof.  http://twitpic.com/2epil

tutter RT @Quince http://twitpic.com/2epil hahaha! #baddog

bailey @Quince UR so retarded! I can’t believe you posted that!!

tutter Heard the fridge open. Running to the kitchen at full speed. #corgisrule

Quince @tutter Full speed is pretty slow when you’re shaped like a football with feet.

tutter @Quince Bite me. At least I don’t run around barking like an idiot when the humans say “Is Timmy in the well?” #douche

bailey why is everyone who follows me a neo-con or a porn spammer? or a cat.

bigcat @bailey fine, I’m blocking you. You weren’t reciprocating anyway.

quince Totally humping @tutter right now! I rule.

Tutter @quince @bailey Hahaha! Just noticed mom is following you both. You are so busted.

twitter fail whale

lettergirl Just deactivated the dogs’ twitter accounts. Bet the site is running faster soon!

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