Tag Archives: express-news

Sybil, Party of 3, Your Table is Now Available

17 Jun

Hi, I have a bad case of blogging multiple personality disorder this week. And bonus: if you would like to hear the other voices in my head, I will tell you where they are talking.

First, I am being rational and sensible and posting pictures of Baby Ruth’s in the pool at the San Antonio Express-News’ online site: MySA.com. I am exploring the phenomena of cowardly morons who make up fake names and act like idiots in the comment section.

Come, read and discuss the decline of society with me. Or make up a fake name and act like an idiot in the comment section. Either way, I’m cool with that. Just click here and comment.

Also today, I am guest posting for The Atomic Mom. Katherine  is young and hip and adorable, and you should read her blog all the time. But especially today. Because I am sharing an important life lesson about what you should and shouldn’t lick. Also, I have an  anecdote that may simultaneously reveal why newspapers are in so much trouble right now, and why I fear for the future of the teaching profession. Yes! All that in one story.

Go on, you know you’re curious now. Leave a comment so Katherine doesn’t think I’m a loser. Thank you. Again, click right here.

Thank you. I love you. 

Now, go away.

Craziest Thing Ever

13 May

So, as if you needed more evidence that newspapers are in trouble, guess what, y’all? The San Antonio Express-News has asked me to blog on their web site, Mysa.com.

Well, it actually happened like this, Roy Bragg, columnist extraordinaire, sent out a note onTwitter looking for bloggers in San Antonio.

And as my dogs are my witness, I responded, “Umm. This is embarrassing. But I’m kind of awesome.”

Roy was polite enough to say “Oh, I was totally already thinking of you,” which is probably a lie, but a smooth move. Then he even followed that up with “direct message me your email and I’ll send you a pitch letter.”

Which then? AWKWARD. Because Roy was not actually following me on Twitter, so I couldn’t send him a direct message because that is how Twitter protects people from stalkers. And also apparently how they protect Roy from self-promoting bloggers.

So I asked a mutual friend for his email address, but I think she actually hates me because she gave me an email he doesn’t check. (I am ONTO you, Donna.)

And then Roy sent me another message that was all “I’m listening” and had an embedded sound file of him tapping his fingers impatiently, I swear. And finally I had to say “Hello, you are not listening and that is why I can’t DM you, Aggie!” That is how you impress people when you want to blog for a big deal newspaper.

Surprisingly, Roy still wanted me to write a blog, which is how I am going to become rich and famous. Although not actually rich because newspapers are broke, in case you haven’t noticed. So they came up with this “community blogging initiative” which means “get a lot of desperate people to write for us for free.”

As far as I can tell, everyone else seems pretty normal, so I may be the only one Roy sent a detailed list of swear words I could and could not use on the newspaper website. Which hello? I was not going to use anyway because I have to use my real name.  Yes. I know. No, I am not going to publish the list on here. See “have to use my real name” above.

Anyway, go look at my big-time blogging opportunity. Right now I think all that’s there is my 200-word bio. But big things are coming.

Go On. Click Here Right Now.

Oh wait. Now there is also a post there. A post wherein I suggest myself as a Supreme Court nominee and reveal which justices currently go commando under their robes.  Now really, go there and leave a comment or make a campaign contribution.

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