Me: Uh, WTH? You’re in the car?
Ninja Dog: Oh, yeah — hi.
Me: I specifically recall telling you “stay.” Also, the phrase “no, Bailey,” may have been gently uttered.
Ninja Dog: Ninja Dog does not “stay.” Ninja dog slips out the door in a blur of awesome. Ninja dog gets in the car before you even notice. I’m a Jackie Chan Russell.
Me: Jackie Chan Russell? SERIOUSLY???
Ninja Dog: I’m done talking now. Ninja dog is looking for cats.