Get in the Closet

14 Mar

Do it, right now.

Go get two big boxes or trash bags or whatever and march to your closet. It’s time to Spring Clean.

You know the drill. One box/bag to give away, one that ohmygosheventhehomelessdonotneedthatTHROWITAWAY.

Now listen. Be merciless.

Those pants with the tag still on that you bought thinking they would be really cute if you lost 10 pounds? Goodbye.

The dress you wore to your brother’s wedding that would be really cute if you got it altered to fit better? He has a kindergartener now, so let the dream go.

The lime green capri pants that somehow seemed like a good idea four summers ago? They weren’t.

Every single thing that you avoid wearing because when you do, you spend all day hiking it up to cover cleavage? Either get some camis or out they go and for goodness sake, start leaning over in the dressing room to make sure you’re comfortable with your Northern Exposure.

And speaking of dressing rooms? START TRYING THINGS ON. Let’s also remove everything that you bought because it looked cute on the rack but does not look good on you. Away with those.

OK, except that $199 little black dress you scored at Tuesday Morning for $14.99. Go get that altered. It’s adorable.

Now the shoes. The ones that you can wear for 15 minutes total? Send them off to someone else. The scuffed ones that make you look like you just walked over Donner Pass and stopped to eat your kinfolk on the way? Throw them away.

Everything that, when you are standing in front of a closet full of clothes, makes you still sigh “I have nothing to wear?” Tough love, baby. Toss them. You are not going to magically start reaching for those clothes.

And then, when you are done?  Don’t go shopping.

The clothes left are the ones you are actually wearing, and unless you’re routinely having to go out naked, you don’t need more clothes, you need less crap in your closet.

The end.

Happy spring.



13 Responses to “Get in the Closet”

  1. James Taylor March 14, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

    Just the kick in the pants and giggle in the gut we eternal procrastinators need. I have that typical male Texan disease where I wear clothes until they lose molecular cohesion. My wife calls it disgraceful – I call it air conditioning.

    • lettergirl March 14, 2011 at 7:45 pm #

      It’s POSSIBLE I wrote this because I need to clean mine. Maybe.

  2. Karen March 14, 2011 at 7:40 pm #

    Thanks for this. I need it.

  3. Sherry Carr-Smith March 14, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    I’ll do mine if you do yours. Even better? I’ll take the two giant boxes full of clothes I was going to fit back into straight to Goodwill this weekend. Do not open box, do not justify keeping any. I wonder if I can really do it…

    • lettergirl March 14, 2011 at 7:56 pm #

      I will post a picture of my piles AND finished closet tomorrow!

  4. JennC March 14, 2011 at 7:53 pm #

    Printing this out. Posting it on my closet. Taking care of it this weekend.

    Or next.

  5. Karyn @ kloppenmum March 15, 2011 at 2:24 am #

    Just discovered the flylady, and loving the declutter -bug. But I’m keeping those skinny clothes – I’m going to be in them in six months!

  6. Sherry Carr-Smith March 15, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    Okay. I’m on it this weekend.

  7. Beth March 15, 2011 at 8:57 pm #

    Ohhhhhhhhh….the guilt. I know it must be done. It. Must. Be. Done. But, THIS weekend? Mmmmmm…..maybe not. In Procrastination Land, what’s one more weekend of NOT entering closet hell, right? Or maybe two weekends. Or three. Or, I could just put it off until it becomes Fall Cleaning. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

  8. mom judy March 22, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    is 40plus prs of shoes toooo excessive (some vintaGE!!) maybe i’ll have one of ur kids pitch em in a dumpster while we search for goods

  9. txhoosier April 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

    You forgot to mention the clothes your mother/mother-in-law keeps giving you because “it would look so cute on you” even though it is nothing like anything you’ve ever worn in your entire life, nor will.

  10. Jean C. April 4, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

    Oh my god, so true!!!! This description mirrored my closet and it is in desperate need of a cleaning…probably tomorrow, lol…:)

    Love your blog!

  11. RJ Flamingo April 10, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    Yes, ma’am. Just as soon as I get home. Besides, I just got a boxful of new jeans from Lands End. You know, before capri pants go out of style altogether and I have to start hemming again.

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