1. Mark McGwire admits he uses steroids. Yeah, and the Stay-Puff Marshmallow man is going on Oprah next week to admit he has a carb addiction.
We knew that. Remember when you got up before Congress in 2005 and said a million times that you wouldn’t “talk about the past?” We connected the performance-enhancing dots.
Sincerely, The American Public Who is Not as Stupid as You Think
2. Sarah Palin joins Fox News. Anyone who didn’t see that coming has been spending too much time with Joe Six-Pack.
She posted this gem to Twitter yesterday:
What would we do, indeed? I am wringing my hands with worry and panic at the very thought. A world without Fox News.
As an aside, as we were opening Christmas presents at my parents’ house, my mom said “I thought about getting you Sarah Palin’s autobiography, but have you already read it?”
I responded, “No, because I am pretty sure she’s the anti-Christ.”
Because it was Christmas, and saying what I really thought might make Baby Jesus cry.
3. NBC Figures Out The Leno Show Sucks. Sigh. And Conan takes it on the chin.
4. Chinese Factories are Putting Dangerous Crap into Kids Toys Again. Mmmm. Cadmium. Delicious. Isn’t that their primary export now? Maybe they can team with Cadbury Chocolates and sell us Cadmium eggs for Easter.
5. Kate Gosselin has found a new way to be in the spotlight. Thata girl, Kate. If the whole “whoring out your kids so you still get paid while your marriage dissolves” thing doesn’t work, how about $7,000 worth of polyester extensions to get a little publicity for 2010? Can the Gosselin’s please just go away?
Also? My daughter has 6-year-old Barbies with more realistic-looking hair.