- I should never embark on a painting project on a weekend I have PMS.
- A child offering to “help” is really a domestic terrorist planning on unleashing the twin hounds of havoc and chaos.
- If you back into a freshly painted apple-green wall, you will have two apple-shaped prints on the butt of your jeans.
- Acetone will take that right out. If “right out” means after half an hour of dabbing and inhaling fumes that make you forget your own name.
- A startled corgi told to “get out of here” will choose the exit route that involves leaping with unbridled enthusiam into the paint tray.