Look, the “inspector number 27” tags in the underwear were kind of endearing. But now, I see they are accompanied by a second sticker that says “Team 4.”
Really? REALLY? It takes a whole team of inspectors to see if my underwear are up to your rigorous quality control standards?
What, are they too big for one inspector? Is that a fat joke? I am working on it, jerks. We can’t all be built like Michael Jordan.
Oh and does that mean a whole team of people have had their possibly germy, grubby hands all over my undergarments? I feel violated. It takes a village to raise a child, Hanes. It does not take a team to inspect underpants. Now your slogan about “Wait ’til we get our Hanes on you” is creeping me the hell out.
And who are these inspectors? Do you screen them for possible fetishes? Check them against the National Underwear Molester database? This “Team 4” sticker has opened up a whole new panty panic paranoia for me.
Where’s the bleach?