Overheard at Dora’s House

16 Mar

“Dora, why? You’re a very pretty girl just the way you are.”

“Aye, Mama! You just say that because you’re my mother! I’ve had these same stupid bangs since 1999. Come on, vamonos al salón de belleza! I need some hair extensions.”

“I don’t know, mija, you seem too young. You’re a smart girl, always solving mysteries. It’s character that’s important. And I love your bangs.”

Dora #1

“Mama, it’s ridiculous! I need a new look. My belly’s busting out of this stupid pink tshirt. I can’t be smart *and* pretty? I am still wearing ruffly socks and Velcro shoes. I don’t even have any eyelashes. I am about to start middle school,  not preschool. No one wears backpacks, they all have messenger bags. Mama, I will always be your little muchacha, but I’m not  a baby.”

“What’s wrong with your pink shirt? I love that backpack. Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me you ditched that sweet little Strawberry Shortcake and are hanging out with the Bratz girls!”

“Mama, have you *seen* Strawberry Shortcake lately?”

Strawberry Shortcake Makeover

“…wow.”

“Yeah, her mom let her get her freckles bleached *and* I am pretty sure she had a nose job and is wearing a bra now! No wonder I am the only one still hanging around with a stupid monkey in red boots.”

“Well, she does look pretty. I never understood why she liked those ugly brown shoes so much.”

“So I can get a new hairstyle? My ears pierced? Wear some clear lip gloss and have eyelashes? And  maybe get a shirt that camouflages my thick waist? Please???”

“OK, mija. But you are still my little girl. And you need to apologize to Boots. You hurt his feelings.”

dora2

“Oh mama! You are the best! I can’t wait to show Diego! And that snot Alicia! She’s been calling me a baby for years just because she gets to use a cool video watch.  Ha ha!  Take that jungle girl!”

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14 Responses to “Overheard at Dora’s House”

  1. Em March 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm #

    OMG! I loved what the did to Strawberry Shortcake but Dora’s lookin a little too “growed up” 😉

    Seriously I showed it to DH and he was like “what happened!!?!?!”

    Love your blog, btw. I read it regularly and always enjoy it 🙂

    Have a delicious day!

  2. Stephany March 17, 2009 at 9:28 am #

    Some of your best writing! Loved it!

  3. RJ Flamingo March 17, 2009 at 11:46 am #

    Whoa! Really?!? Really?!?

  4. Sweato Glando March 17, 2009 at 12:32 pm #

    I love to squeeze my pimples and pop them onto the mirror. Then I leave the pus on the mirror for our maid to clean. I am mucho in favor of such kindnesses. I’m going to grow up to be a Republican or some other kind of Nazi.

  5. Mocha Dad March 17, 2009 at 3:52 pm #

    Why can’t a kid just be a kid?

  6. sharon March 17, 2009 at 4:19 pm #

    I love what they’ve done to Dora. She is finally growing up a bit. Just hopefully they will keep her in a teaching mode for the kids’ sakes

  7. Bethany March 17, 2009 at 7:40 pm #

    The original Dora is wearing a belly shirt!! So maybe the slutty 2nd one is more wholesome. Hahaha!

  8. ms brown March 18, 2009 at 5:46 am #

    It just shows that no matter how hard we try to keep our kids from growing up… life happens…

  9. ingrid March 18, 2009 at 11:23 am #

    Oh, wow……when did all that happen? My babygirl looked A LOT like Dora and is now in the process of looking like the “new” one, scary business!
    ~ingrid

  10. queenofhaddock March 18, 2009 at 12:38 pm #

    Hilarious post! So glad PeaPodSquad gave me a heads up about your blog!

  11. Odessa March 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    I LOVE the new Dora – she’s not so bad. From all the hype, I was expecting her to look like a Bratz doll! She doesn’t, she just looks like she grew up – just like all of our little girls do . . . 🙂

  12. lettergirl March 18, 2009 at 3:18 pm #

    Odessa and Ingrid, you’re right! They grow up whether we approve the process or not! My own little “Dora” is at that stage, too. I think the Dora makeover is really pretty adorable.

  13. Latisha March 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm #

    LOL@ the commentary.

    Dora is growing up! This is the first site that actually shows the new Dora and not just a silhouette of the future Dora.

    I don’t see why the even need to “grow” her up.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Dora…new and improved? « The Ivey League - March 18, 2009

    […] For an absolutely hilarious post about Dora’s new do, click here. […]

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