No, I’m not Dedrater. It was Ukiah

9 Feb

So, did you know there’s a whole Internet group for people who think they’re being clever and write Haiku, but then it turns out, they’ve been out of Haiku-writing class for a long time and they end up writing the lines like this:

Clever blog post eludes me.
So, I try Haiku.
But, I miscount syllables.

Real Haiku = 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables
Dork Haiku = 7 syllables, 5 syllables, 7 syllables

And yes, there is whole Internet group of retarded haiku-composers like me. They call it Ukiah. Get it? Haiku backwards. Now that you’re in on the joke, go read the post title again.

Really though, the too-many-syllables Haiku is rather fitting. I can be quite guarded, but when I decide to let it down? “Hello, Oversharers Anonymous?” I do usually share way more than two extra syllables.

As evidence, let’s consider the week before last, when I blogger I adore but DO NOT KNOW linked to a post of mine in her sidebar. I should have sent this email.

“Thank you so much for the nice link. I have followed your blog for a long time, and it really made my day.”

My Ukiah email? More like this:

“Oh my gosh! I saw I was getting some hits from your site and when I saw you linked to me, I totally burst into happy tears! No, not a stalker, but I really, REALLY, REALLYlove your blog and it’s my favorite thing ever and can I send you a puppy or something because you are the coolest thing and I feel like the nerd girl who just got talked to by the head cheerleader and OMG YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!!! Again, not a stalker or 15 years old, just really happy.”

STUNNINGLY, she did not email me back and we are not now BFFs, *and* she may have a restraining order on me. See? Ukiah.

So to summarize:
Yes, I used too many syllables in my Friday Moron Roundup Haiku. Aside: Ha! Note the irony in the title!!
Yes, it’s not surprising, since I can be a real dork.
Yes, I am signing up for an Internet social skills class.

Have a nice Monday.

Love,
lettergirl

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5 Responses to “No, I’m not Dedrater. It was Ukiah”

  1. Elle February 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm #

    I had no idea you were a Haiku dork! Makes me love you even more. hehehe

  2. Claire February 9, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    You dag.

  3. canarygirl February 11, 2009 at 9:01 am #

    I am not dedrater! I need help! HAHAHA! I love you, Lettergirl. MUAC!

  4. Janet February 11, 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    Confess I really
    Must; I looked up the proper
    format, cheater me.

    And I didn’t notice your incorrect format. And I just started TWO sentences with a goddamn conjunction. I was an English major… Sigh.

    I’m officially, by the way, addicted to your blog.

  5. ingrid February 24, 2009 at 10:36 am #

    Haiku? I wouldn’t even attempt one. I don’t care
    how many syllables you use or don’t use.

    You rock & I totally enjoy coming by your blog!
    ~ingrid

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