The weather’s getting beautiful here in South Texas. Just like the swallows return to Capistrano, the Lycra-clad return to the roadways. And so there you were, stopped at the light, right next to the car window.
Good for you for seizing the day. And for wearing a helmet. And for following traffic laws. I used to bike quite a bit myself, and I’m happy to share the road.
But I need to let you in on something.
Those shiny silver bike shorts? They’re conspiring against you, dude. Too small. A little sweaty. And obviously worn on quite a few rides.
And that, my two-wheeling friend, is the holy trinity of unholy transparency.
Repeat after me. Aerodynamic, good. See-through, bad. It makes for some hairy conversation with kids in the car. Speaking of hairy, it’s a quick pedal to Jeanette’s Salon in Stone Oak, and they have a *great* waxer there. You’ll be more aerodynamic.
Before you head out again, do yourself a favor. Put your shorts on. Get them a little damp. Reach over and touch your toes and have someone take a picture from behind out in the midday sun. If you could then play connect-the-dots with your posterior pimples, it’s time for new shorts.
Bleaching my Eyes